Wenn das Liebe ist
by Melli aka Scorpio
Summary: Takes place two years after the end of the TV series. Ran is musing about the loss of a certain someone... non-yaoi! Songfic; contains spoilers for the TV series and the Dramatic Precious Stage.


  
Wenn das Liebe ist   
(If this is love)  
By Melli aka Scorpio (sailor_scorpio@gmx.de)  
Rating: G   
Warnings: Songfic, spoiler for the series and the drama events   
Summary: Takes place after the events in Dramatic Precious Stage. Weiss are back   
at the Koneko no Sume Ie with Aya-chan, and Ran is musing about the loss of a   
certain someone... (non-yaoi!)   
Pairing: none really  
  
Disclaimer: Weiss Kreuz is © Takehito Koyasu and Project Weiss. The song "Wenn   
das Liebe ist" is by Glashaus, I only translated the lyrics. This fanfic was   
written for entertainment purposes only and has no financial advantage for me.   
  
This is sort of a prequel to my upcoming Weiss Kreuz series.   
  
Note: '...' Ran's thoughts   
/.../ song lyrics   
  
  
  
'I can't sleep.'   
  
'Why does it hurt?'  
  
'You're gone...'  
  
/Bin unter Tränen eingeschlafen (Fell asleep with tears in my eyes)/   
/bin unter Tränen wieder aufgewacht (And woke up with tears in my eyes)/  
  
Fujimiya Ran slowly openend his eyes, groaning softly as the harsh light of the   
sun which shone through the window pierced through them. He had hardly slept   
that night, just like the nights before. His mind was too much of a turnmobile   
to let him find some rest.   
  
/hab über dieselbe beschissene Frage (Thought about this damned question)/  
/2 Millionen mal nachgedacht (For about 2 million times)/  
  
A year... a year had passed by since they had come back to the Koneko no Sume   
Ie, given up hiding and returned, a year since Ran had been able to hold his   
sister Aya-chan in his arms again, so glad to see her alive and awake...  
  
But also a year since *she* had left. Gone away to study in Paris just a few   
days before their return.   
  
/hab mich gedreht und mich gewendet (Tossed and turned)/  
/in dem selben Scheißproblem (Over the same darned problem)/  
  
He had to admit he had looked forward to see *her* again, to fulfil the promise   
he had given her before the final battle against Schwarz. And then to find out   
that she wasn't there anymore...  
  
Well that alone wouldn't have been to bad, she would only stay in France for a   
year and she was also in close contact to Aya-chan whom she had become best   
friends with...  
  
No. He could have lived with that, three months had already passed since her   
departure and he would have found a way to get over the remaining nine months.   
But what he couldn't cope with was her latest letter which had arrived about two   
weeks ago, Aya-chan had developed the habit to read them aloud to the guys and   
this certain letter... she had written about having found someone special whom   
she declared to be the love of her life... and her thinking about staying in   
France forever.   
  
/für dich ist es beendet (For you it's over)/  
/aber ich, ich kanns nicht sehen (But I, I can't see it)/  
/ich kanns nicht sehen (I can't see it)/  
  
'I miss you...'   
  
It hurt to think about that, to imagine her in the arms of another man. He   
wondered what was wrong with himself, remembering all too clearly the day when   
*he* had been the one whom she had confessed her feelings to. He had rejected   
her, telling her he wasn't able to love anyone... that he wasn't worth to be   
loved by anyone.   
  
/Wenn das Liebe ist (If this is love)/  
/warum bringt es mich um den Schlaf? (Why does it make sleep stay away)/  
  
It had been more than three years ago, yet in these past few days the memories   
of these moments burned brightly before his inner eye, and he suddenly wished he   
wouldn't have said that.   
  
'Am I jealous...?'  
  
/Wenn das Liebe ist (If this is love)/  
/warum raubt es mir meine Kraft? (Why does it drain me off my energy)/  
  
'It hurts...'  
  
/Wenn das Liebe ist (If this is love)/  
/sag mir was es mit mir macht? (Tell me what it's doing to me)/  
  
'What is happening to me...'   
  
/Wenn das Liebe ist (If this is love)/  
/was ist dann Hass? (What's hate then)/  
  
'I'm confused...'   
  
/kann nicht schlafen (Can't sleep)/  
/kann nicht essen (Can't eat)/  
  
Ran chewed on his toast without appetite. He tried to force it down, he knew he   
had to eat something even though he wasn't hungry at all and that lump in his   
throat didn't make it easier for him to get the food into his stomach.   
  
/ich kann es nicht verstehen (I can't understand it)/  
  
'Why did you leave? I told you I would tell you everything about me... were you   
tired of waiting for me...? Well I can't blame you. A year is a long time...'  
  
/du hast mich vergessen (You forgot me)/  
/während Erinnerungen mich lähmen (While memories are paralyzing me)/  
  
Fragments of moments they shared repeatedly passed by before his inner eye. The   
time they first met, when he realized how much she looked like Aya-chan, her   
teaching him how to eat ice-cream, how he saved her from that maniac who had   
already stolen her kidney and then wanted her heart, her confession, his   
rejection, the look on her face when she saw him kill that crazy musician, how   
Schuldig had forced her mentally to shoot him, and when he had found Aya-chan in   
that closet and realized she had taken her place...   
  
/hab Angst vor dem Abend (I'm afraid of the evening)/  
/mir graut vor der Nacht (Scared by the night)/  
  
'It won't let me rest... I'm afraid... afraid of these feelings...'   
  
/bis an den Morgen mich dieselbe Frage wach hält (Up till morning, the same   
question keeps me awake)/  
  
'What are you doing to me?'   
  
/Warum bist du nicht da (Why aren't you there)/  
/Warum bist du nicht da (Why aren't you there)/  
  
'I want you back! I miss you! I need you! I...'  
  
/Wenn das Liebe ist (If this is love)/  
/warum bringt es mich um den Schlaf? (Why does it make sleep stay away)/  
  
'Do I...'  
  
/Wenn das Liebe ist (If this is love)/  
/warum raubt es mir meine Kraft? (Why does it drain me off my energy)/  
  
'Even though I said I couldn't...'  
  
/Wenn das Liebe ist (If this is love)/  
/sag mir was es mit mir macht? (Tell me what it's doing to me)/  
  
'That I'm not worthy of...'  
  
/Wenn das Liebe ist (If this is love)/  
/was ist dann Hass? (What's hate then)/   
  
'Is this...'   
  
He had her phone number, Aya-chan had left it on a piece of paper next to the   
phone but she didn't call her often because it was way too expensive. Yet   
suddenly he felt the urge to talk to her, to hear her voice, to ask her why she   
had forgotten him... so he picked up the receiver and started to dial.   
  
/Tausendmal deine Nummer gewählt (Dialed your number a thousand times)/  
/und tausendmal wieder aufgelegt (And put the receiver back down a thousand   
times)/  
  
'What am I doing?!'  
  
He slammed the receiver back down, receiving questionning glances from the rest   
of Weiss and his sister.   
  
"Ran-niichan? Are you all right?" Aya asked, a little worried about her   
brother's behaviour.   
  
/die ganze Kacke eh keinem erzählt (Never told this crap to anyone, too)/  
  
Ran shook his head, red locks flying around. "I'm fine, Aya. It's nothing."  
  
Aya still wasn't convinced. "Don't say 'nothing' with such a face, Niichan.   
Something is wrong!" She pointed to the phone. "Or what has the poor phone done   
to be treated in such a way?"   
  
/wer versteht schon wie du mir fehlst (Who will understand how much I miss you)/  
  
Ran looked at his imouto in surprise, then smiled weakly. "It's not the phone,   
it's..."   
  
'I can't tell her...'   
  
He sighed and lowered his head. "You wouldn't understand..." he murmured   
quietly.   
  
"But Niichan!" Aya looked a little hurt that her brother wouldn't trust her with   
his problems. Yet she knew how stubborn he was... she still wasn't fully used to   
his new self, it still surprised her how cold he could be at some times, even   
though Yohji, Ken and Omi had told her so often how much he had loosened up   
since she was with them.   
  
/genau das bezwingt den (That's what beats)/  
/ganzen anderen Stress (All the other stress)/  
  
He had joined Weiss to have enough money to pay Aya-chan's hospital bills, but   
there was no way back, not even now that she was awake. She knew what he was   
doing as a living, and she tolerated it even if she didn't approve of it, and   
she was always worried that something would happen to them.   
  
Manx and Birman were dead, Persia too, but Kritiker still existed, now under   
control of some stranger who had been a close friend of Persia, and still Weiss   
were given new missions, new research, new killings. Evil and crime didn't   
sleep, the only thing that had changed was that the missions were far easier   
without having to deal with Schwarz.   
  
But the killing didn't stop.   
  
/leider kann ich nicht so viel trinken (Too bad I can't drink that much)/  
/dass ich, dass ich dich vergess (That I, that I forget you)/  
/dass ich dich vergess (That I forget you)/  
  
Ran slammed the fridge door shut again and leaned against it, his forehead   
touching the cool metal. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh.   
  
'I shouldn't start drinking... that's Yohji's way of forgetting about Asuka...'   
  
But how *could* he forget? Could he even forget at all?   
  
/Wenn das Liebe ist (If this is love)/  
/warum bringt es mich um den Schlaf? (Why does it make sleep stay away)/  
  
'It's strong.'  
  
/Wenn das Liebe ist (If this is love)/  
/warum raubt es mir meine Kraft? (Why does it drain me off my energy)/  
  
'It makes me weak.'  
  
/Wenn das Liebe ist (If this is love)/  
/sag mir was es mit mir macht? (Tell me what it's doing to me)/  
  
'I don't recognize myself any more.'  
  
/Wenn das Liebe ist (If this is love)/  
/was ist dann Hass? (What's hate then)/  
  
'Stop denying it...'  
  
'I... I love you... Sakura...'   
  
  
The End...  
  
Well? C&C, anyone? Tell me what you think ^^   
  
If you have RealPlayer, you can listen to the song at   
http://www.3-p.de/audio/glashaus_-_wenn_das_liebe_ist.ram   
I highly recommend it! It's a very nice melancholic Soul/Black Music ballad.   
  
  



End file.
